| So often, attempted exchanges of ideas deteriorate to the point where whoever stops to breathe first is the one that loses the argument. Our structured way of talking to each other, along with a very committed confidentiality, gives us the tools to actively listen and to really connect, and with that, the possibility to really understand. Bottom line, we know how to talk to each other, and our members know how to get things done.
In order to get real value from this kind of meeting, it is critical that people feel safe enough (confidentiality) to really share. To do this, people must believe that if the other people know something, they won't use it against them but would actually want to help. Obviously, you don't get all the way there over one three-hour meal, but it is amazing how far you can get with the right intentions and commitment.
Sting came all the way from his dressing room on the other side of the stadium to our dinner to greet us and encourage our effort.
The beauty of real understanding is that it helps clear up one of the chief causes of war, which is misunderstanding. According to U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara, what doomed the U.S. in Vietnam was that they knew almost nothing about the enemy. They didn't know how they thought or what they really wanted.
We spent the next three hours LISTENING to each other, trying to understand more and maybe with that understanding gain some real insight, and with that insight, plus the power of our network, make a difference; maybe just with our family and friends, maybe through local and national leaders. Concrete baby steps matter.
As our dinner conversation became progressively drowned out by the ever less distant sound of Sting's warm-up act, a Hassidic rapper from Brooklyn (I couldn't make this stuff up!), we adjourned our meeting, and moved out of our safe little cocoon into our seats in the packed soccer stadium. |
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After the third song, I sprung the surprise that all of the police and security people had originally refused to allow. That was to bring all fifty of us to a special area directly in front of the stage, restricted for riot control.
We then had our own dance area, fenced off from the rest of the crowd. The separate groups from Palestine and Israel soon melted into one, feeling the beat. No filters. So many of the problems in the region result from the distorting filters of the media and the rhetoric of religious and political leaders. We may disagree, but we at least listen, look each other in the eye, and know each other as human beings, not stereotypes.
At the end of the concert, Sting came back to our meeting room to tell everyone how moved he was to see us dancing together right in front of him all night, and how he hoped to play a concert in Ramallah one day soon.
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